I’ve been posting a lot lately, which hasn’t been the norm for a long while. Some of the explanation is because I hadn’t been inspired by much in the past couple months and my fatigue had been eating away at my free time as napping had taken over; but it’s most recently its been down to the fact I’ve been off sick. Yes, signed off sick from work, yet again.…
mental health
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Sometimes; it just hits you, hard
How long does it take you to accept something? I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t be terrified to see my stoma. The first time I got to see it, I was high on morphine and was desperately trying to understand what was coming out of me and what I was attached to. PICC line? Check. PCA pump? Check. Catheter? Check. Abdominal drain? Check. Ostomy bag…? Check. I felt the…
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One Week to Go
Seven more days of having all my insides, still inside of me. Seven more days of this constant, terribly draining pain. Seven more days in this current chapter of my IBD life. I know surgery isn’t a magic or quick fix. I know I will be in pain afterwards, a different pain from the one I’m experiencing right now but I am hoping this will be controlled better and not…
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Two weeks and counting…
BLERGH but YAY This sums up how I feel right now. I’m looking forward to hopefully not being in this pain much longer but I am dreaded the lead up to the surgery date and what that morning will be like. Because its all new to me – being my first surgery and all – I’m really anxious. And apprehensive. It’s two weeks until my surgery. I’ve finally had all…
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Sunday; the night before
Feeling nervous about tomorrow’s appointment at the surgical clinic. Want to have it all booked and sorted so I know what I’m working towards this Summer but really dreaded it finally being in black and white. *** I know this is the best option right now. In fact, it’s sort of my only option right now. I’ve failed everything else, and even though the combination of biological drugs have made…
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Just… *exhales and sighs*
I feel rotten today. I spent Tuesday afternoon onwards at my boyfriends house. I don’t spend alot of time there because of recent problems I’ve had with my Crohn’s, its easier to be at home. But we had a night and a day off together so decided to spend it together. And even though we have been together for almost 4 years now, I still don’t feel comfortable enough to…
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Nerves and Anxiety
… I had to decide whether to go or not. I had been out of action and without a social life all through my hospital stays and home recovery periods, I wanted to get out there. But I was afraid. Afraid of being unwell whilst away from home, afraid of the staring people would do when I needed to visit the bathrooms multiple times, the awkward way I would sit if I…