Updates galore tonight – I’ve been extremely busy and to some extend, ignoring my problems a little. The build up to the latest Infliximab infusion was interesting; ten days before I started experiencing extreme fatigue in my leg and arm muscles. This would get a little worse each day, until four days before when I was unable to raise my arms higher than my shoulders. I consulted with my GP…
IBD
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World IBD Day
As this ordinary Monday comes to a close to many, I sit here going into the final few GMT hours of World IBD 2014 with some unrest. Should I show them? No one has seen these before, I’ve not allowed myself to bear these photos to other humans, not even other IBDers.. what am I scared of? What am I afraid of, apprehensive about? Why not be brave and share…
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Pause
Things have been pretty good lately. So good in fact, that its difficult to cast my mind back to a time when I was unwell and feel pretty rubbish. The infliximab has really been keeping my Crohn’s under control and I’ve hardly had any reoccurrence of my liver / hernia problems in the past couple weeks. In fact, since I accepted my new job, told my current employer I was…
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Infliximab #5
Another eight weeks have passed.. Another Monday lunchtime spent at the hospital, this time only for two hours; a one hour infusion followed by a hour of observations. As always, there were problems prior to the infusion, discussed before the weekend in “Spring Forward” concerning my liver but after being given the green light to attend, I turned up, fretful from a good yet bad counselling session that morning,…
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Spring forward
Nothing like spending a Saturday evening in the hospital is there? That’s where I was two weeks ago, after a painful afternoon of sickness, I succumbed to my body and was taken to our local A&E department. I got assessed, had my blood taken, lots of poking and prodding and then proceeded to wait for my test results. They came in, gradually over the next couple of hours; move from…
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Professional ‘help’; here we go again
… I sat there, in the unused doctors room, filling in paperwork with a counsellor. I pause before all the sentences, wondering where my stupid emotions fall on the scale of 0 to 5. I think about how bad I feel about who I am, how I behave and wonder if I will ever stop thinking and feeling so utterly negatively about myself. I think about how most of these thoughts have…
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Infliximab #4
So, its been eight weeks since the last hospital visit for the magic mouse juice. This time, I was due to have a two-hour infusion and only one hour of observation. I had gone the eight weeks as was set out by my GI, IBD nurse and the hospital’s Gastro MGT team. Eight weeks are the standard set of time between infusions. As I had gone up and up in…
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Nerves and Anxiety
… I had to decide whether to go or not. I had been out of action and without a social life all through my hospital stays and home recovery periods, I wanted to get out there. But I was afraid. Afraid of being unwell whilst away from home, afraid of the staring people would do when I needed to visit the bathrooms multiple times, the awkward way I would sit if I…
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2013 – Year in Review
This blog turned one year old on the final day of 2013. Those sort of moments tend to allow one to reflected on the past twelve months. When I consider how long and short ago January 2013 was, so much has happened! Here are my highlights: Finally came off the dreaded Humira injections. Created and set up Crohn’s and Colitis UK Staffordshire South group with fellow local IBDers. Celebrated my…