Life Lately | Catching My Breath
Oh hey there, hello again.
It’s been a while since I did a ‘me and my health’ update.
Last time, I spoke about the final stages of my perianal wound healing and a quick GI update.
Well, since then, I’ve had my wound close fully – celebrations all around! Only took six months of pure slog! – and I had a Vedolizumab infusion, which didn’t need any further antibiotic treatment added into the mix.
Given all this calmness on the ol’ medical front, I was bound to experience some stress. I can’t predict what will come to me these days, but I can predict something will happen. It’s been this way for forever and I accept this is just how my disease tends to manifest itself – calm, calm, STRESS, more stress, problem, wind down, wind down, calm. My feelings towards this pattern, is another post for another time; hopefully soon.
So this stress; what was it?
First it was persistent nausea and vomiting. So much so that I was really unsure if I was experiencing a new different IBD symptoms in my stomach or I had a bug. After a couple of weeks of anti emetics, I found a good medium of being medicated for it [not ideal] and finding it passing. I had a bug, it turns out; go figure. At least I have better medication to help me deal with it happening again in the future, so a small silver lining.
After this, I had an increase in my anxiety and depression. I started high intensity CBT – a follow on from my CBT after surgery, coincidently – and it was clear I was heading into another huge circle of bad mental health. I had missed alot of work due to the sickness so that – coupled with alot of other things – I left my job.
Let me stress here that I had been thinking of this option for weeks, if not months; before I decided it was the best thing for me to do. Some of you might know I am retraining to be an accountant so I already have a new career path lined up in pipeline so while leaving a job sounds dramatic and more stressful than being in it, it is not; for me at least.
Leaving has already provided me with some much needed clarity about who I am and what I am doing with my life.
Coupled with my talk therapy I am finding out that most of what I have experience the last three years, I have put up a wall around. We are looking into breaking that down and finding way to reestablish some confidence. So far, so good on that front.
I have caught the worse cold the past week or so since I stopped working – typical eh? Which for those of you with a stoma or IBD will know; has wrecked havoc on my guts and abdomen. My stoma is sore from the coughing, my output is liquid because I have no appetite to eat when I feel this awful and I feel run down and constantly tired. It does feel like today, it is finally moving abit so I am free to be abit more active and take some time out of the house but I am being cautious.
Wednesday I got the news that my Vedolizumab for next week has been delayed because of this cold – understandable – and a new abscess I have had appear. Antibiotics have prescribed and I did have my blood work done just in case, they only delay by a couple days. However, on the back of that, they ran a new calprotectin sample to check if my IBD was active or in remission. This coupled with my rectum being gone and my wound healed now, they could take me off the Vedolizumab for the foreseeable future, until I flare up.
The Toss Up
This has been mentioned previously to me.
And it’s a weird feeling, coming off medication. I have done it twice before and they have been good experiences to begin with, but resulted in hospitalisations and returning to biological treatment. So part of me wonders why risk it? I think that this’ll take a little more thought behind it before I can comfortable with it all – a blog post perhaps?
Anyway, that is what is happening in my world of late.
Until next time,
