-
I AM SCARED, despite being in such a joyous season
December always feels like the most scary month for me. I have no triggers or flashbacks for this month in particular, but there is such a drive away from routine and towards joy, that it makes it a hard time. The last time I felt like this was back in 2015. I had been having […]
-
Never Give Up Hope
Every October and November, I feel nostalgic. I feel the swirl of memories flood my mind, of being taken back to days in the hospital for treatment, of being hooked up to an IV stand. The first time was October 2013, when I moved from Humira to Infliximab. Going from an at-home self-injection to a […]
-
Hernias & Stomas
I remember sitting in my hospital bed, after my first solo stoma bag change back in 2016 and my nurse said “you must always try and avoid a hernia. You are more susceptible to them now”. I was four or five days post op and I just nodded along. It was never a big worry […]
-
Remaining Strong in the Face of Chronic Illness
“Just because you carry it well, does not mean it’s not heavy” I find myself thinking about this quote more and more frequently these days. Not sure if it’s lockdown impacting on my brain or the fact that life has been forever changed by the pandemic , but there is something to be said about […]
-
Being [Unexpectedly] Medication Free for a Year
I remember vividly two days that began my journey with Vedolizumab; “she returned my call, the long and short of it being that “no, this isn’t working“; agreeing with my doubts since Monday. It’s not a decision to be taken lightly and it certainly wasn’t a happy and cheerful conversation but it was honest and […]
-
Having Major Surgery During a Pandemic
I know almost all of us did not expect nor predict that 2020 would be how it has been thus far. It has been without a doubt the most challenging year for a very long time. However, when you have a chronic illness, you go through periods where you are indeed isolated and out of […]
-
Being and Staying Positive
“May the flowers remind us why the rain was necessary” “One day at a time” “Be gentle with yourself, you’re doing the best you can” We hear ‘positive‘ quotes all day long in the chronic illness community. From helping us get through a tough day, to reminding someone else they are stronger than their mind […]
-
Same Ocean, Different Boats
Sometimes, it can feel as if you are all alone with your problems. It is easy to compare yourself to others when social media is and can be a highlight reel. When images are smoothed out, positives over negatives are drawn. It can be really hard, to be honest and raw, when it can be […]
-
Has my Bag Improved my IBD?
It is the week before surgery. I knew the closer we got to my date, I would begin pondering things. August has a tendency to bring up some pretty miserable memories, as well as great ones. I’m coming closer to the anniversary of my stoma surgery, a period in which I was the sickest I’ve […]