Mental Health

All posts under the umbrella of mental health

2018 Goals

Back in late 2016, I set myself these goals. All because that year was probably the most challenging and life changing year I’ve had with my IBD since diagnosis. Because I felt that I needed some focus and some ambition to drive me forward. I wanted to achieve something, beyond the realms of my illness. For the most part, I’ve ticked off almost all of my 2017 goals. I haven’t look at them all the time, haven’t reminded myself what was left to achieve, I just let things happen. And I am happy with the results. As 2017 draws to…

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“It is okay to be angry at your situation sometimes”

I feel some normality returning to my bones, some of my personality coming back. Some of my fight, a strong part of my need to write, seeping out of my fingers. The realisation here is that: IBD is unpredictable. And that particular mental battle is a topic for another day, some time soon.   Sometimes you just have to laugh.  No seriously, you do. Through wet eyes, I sat on my hospital bed, incredibly sad at the state of affairs I was in. This was my fourth admission in as many weeks, I was staring at the NG tube being held…

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The Highs and Lows of Hospital Stays

I’ve just spent a week in hospital, unexpectedly. Now I am no stranger to prolonged spells in a hospital bed. But this time, this was different. New city, new hospital, new problems. I am still processing all the new information so bear with me, this isn’t going to be all about what has gone on but more about what its like to spend time in hospital when youre chronically and invisibly ill. Being in hospital has extremes of highs and lows. Yes, even highs! The spectrum of emotion is vast, varied and can hit you without warning or want. Learning…

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Life Lately | The Guilt, Oh The Guilt

Disclaimer: This post is not happy and positive. Sorry, not sorry. Anyone who follows me, or reads this blog will realise there has been a little bit of a lull in my posting. And somehow feel like there is an explanation due as to why. There are good and bad reasons to why I’ve been unusually quiet in my sharing of my experiences of living with chronic illness. And they may feel like excuses and not at all significant in the big scheme of things, but they are honest and truthful – my primary goal here. I thought about not sharing,…

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The Reminder that I’m Not Normal

I sit in the bathroom, looking straight ahead to my ostomy bags and accessories. I smell the clinical, medical appliance nature of them, but they don’t look medical. I know the feel of my bag, the crinkle of the fabric again my waistband. The grey colour that disappears under my clothes, concealing my medical condition.  An ileostomy. My stoma. Pricilla, the drama queen, coming shockingly into my life 10 months ago. I feel my bags staring back at me. I feel the weight of the bag that sit against my skin. I feel the heavy output inside, the movement of…

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