How did August’s goals go?
Here is what I set myself for the month of August:
- Do my Vedolizumab diary! More on this over on my Twitter.
- Work on my appearance so that I feel comfortable again.
- Plan my SM content for all of August in ONE FAIL SWOOP – or at least, a week ahead.
- Return to work and attend all my days I’m scheduled in for.
- Celebrate a family wedding and three birthdays.
- Restart my Vitamin regime to see if this aids health.
August was Month Five of Recovery and while it’s been uneventful with nothing big nor scary taking place, it hasn’t been the best time actually.
I attempted a Phased Return to work in August but after a couple days, I fell flat on my metaphorical arse when my mental health took a huge hit. I’m not sure where it all came from, but my mood was low then suddenly high, I was finding it very difficult to stay asleep and not feel fatigued from worrying about almost everything I could possibly think about. I was loosing alot of self motivation including finding energy and enthusiasm to shower and do my basic self care routine. I felt very low and depressed, but ironically that pressure point was deemed low on assessment and it was anxiety that was overbearing. Never the less, I’ve been referred to the Mental Health Team at the hospital to see what new medications can help better control or manage my anxiety.
Of course, we have a fine balance act of not letting my physical health affect my mental health; and vice versa. So at times this month, I’ve been very low about my stoma, my IBD and my wound because all three have been trying to play up more than I want them too. The heatwave didn’t help any of these problems; but I got through it without being too dehydrated, even though my sore joints have persisted.
I did do something scary after visiting family in the middle of the month; I made a big life decision. And until it begins I’m going to keep myself not focusing on ‘what if it goes wrong’ or ‘have I committed myself to too much’ and keep it close to my chest for the time being.
I am anticipating going back to work properly in September but I have a mini surgery on the third week so that’ll be something to contest with, along side my PTSD of being diagnosed and all that flood of memories. I do try every year to get better at being ‘less’ emotional about it – and in some aspects I have found a positive spin on it all – but I can’t not think about it. It’s finding how to balance that with the reality of the present. I know the past is the past but I always wonder about the ‘what if‘s of my diagnosis.
So what else have I got planned?
- Attend all events as planned and be prepared!
- Keep up with my skin care routine
- Plan ahead with my SM content and blog posts with the expectation of being MIA while I recover [again]
- Return to work!
- Take my recovery from Day Surgery as it comes.
- Be proud of myself.
Do you find goal setting useful? What do you want to achieve in September?