In for the long haul

Thursday, August 11th “I feel absolutely awful. If I’m honest, I’ve felt awful for weeks and I’m at the end of my tether. Please help me.” I was on the phone to my IBD nurse, begging for help. I’ve never begging for an admission but that is what came out of my mouth next; “I’d really like to be admitted.” She wasn’t shocked, just said she’d need to speak to my consultant and surgeon to find a bed for me on the Gastro ward – always going to be a big ask but I knew she’d come through for me…

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A Spiral of Set Backs

I last wrote anything about my Crohn’s disease back at the end of June. That is almost six weeks ago but feels so much longer ago. And in retrospect, so much but so little has happened. It’s just been one thing after another; without the last problem really going away. So I was being discharged in my last post after my bowel infection from surgery. That problem resolved itself a week after I came home because of the antibiotics my surgeon prescribed to knock it out of my system. It seemed to do the trick; I was eating more, managing…

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Moviprep – The Storm before the Scope

The fun of a scope is in the preparation. Said no one, ever. My scope is scheduled for a Tuesday morning (thank goodness for morning appointments!) but my preparation of my bowel starts the Saturday before; three days prior. On this day I start my low residue diet. Anyone with IBD will tell you they follow a low residue diet – a diet consisting on very little fibre, because that causes aggravation of the bowel wall, among other things – most of the time. Being on a low fibre diet for this amount of time is key because in order…

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Pulling myself apart

Slowly but surely I am getting there. It’s the eve of my scope prep starting and I am hungry. I keep thinking this is the last time I will do a colonoscopy because I might not have a colon in a couple months. And boy is that surreal. I keep pulling myself between feeling super-duper positive about things and how I am happy this is finally happening after all the shit I’ve had to endure this last year – both with my medical decisions, the jobs I’ve lost, the plans and promises I’ve had to take back or break –…

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Just… *exhales and sighs*

I feel rotten today. I spent Tuesday afternoon onwards at my boyfriends house. I don’t spend alot of time there because of recent problems I’ve had with my Crohn’s, its easier to be at home. But we had a night and a day off together so decided to spend it together. And even though we have been together for almost 4 years now, I still don’t feel comfortable enough to just get up and walk to the loo and be gone, for sometimes ages; whenever he lives. Even when my Crohn’s is going through a good patch; which now definitely…

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