It is all I ask for.

I’m finally at a stage where I am in desperate need of a challenge. This means going back to school. Beside filling me with excitement and nervousness, it fills me with dread.

I am having a prolonged healthy period in my life. I have gotten the Crohns under control and the anemia I suffer with is being dealt with. Finally, things are on track to continue on being good. Even working is going well, despite being boring and very very easy.

Studying means another 3 or 4 years of part time classes and assignments. It is scary to think that I need to keep healthy for that amount of time. It will be less intense as a full time degree and spending all my time with my nose in a book. But maintaining a healthy mind and body for that amount of time, it scares me. What if I get sick again? What if I need that impending surgery? What if I am unable to work and study? Would I give up work? Could I give up work? There are alot of questions, most concerning my health. And one big one..

Can I afford it?

Both financially and in every other way a new challenge affects things; home, relationship, friendships, social life, free time, sleep… it’s endless.

But, I need it. I need to feel some sort of purpose in my life. And this is the first stepping stone. Jumping in.


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