It takes a lot to find peace in this day and age. Not those half parsed attempts we all make to feel happy and relaxed, but deep down peace within your being.
Having a crohnic illness always comes along and changes your viewpoint and opinions more than you care to admit. And most that happens inside your mind and spirit.
I know its not easy, but please, forgive yourself once in a while. Don’t be so hard on yourself and please don’t ever hate yourself because of your disease. Learning to embrace it is a long and hard road. But its worth the journey.