On this day of love – and not because its just today, but because I do – I am in love.. with myself.
Finally, after a couple days of good news and continuing to be pain free, I am fab. Things might not always be perfect, or even great, but as long as I know I can get through them – and not just because i did before, but because I actually can – everything is okay.
I might wish I wasn’t as tired as I am, or the fact that I’m chowing down on lots of food, or that my hormones are causing havoc; but they make me ‘me’. I sat in my UEA Waterpolo hoodie and UVic sweatpants earlier on after work and I just thought about how long ago I wore those two things at the same time. It must have been two years, and everything has changed. I had a tiny feeling of guilt – of wishing that I could go back and re live those moments again – but in reality I am loving where I am now. If it wasn’t for the last 6 months I would still be in pain. I would still be chasing people who don’t care. I would still be passive. I would rather be me – who I am now – than that girl. I would not change it for anything.
And in some morbid way, I look forward to what is to come. What could be around the corner. Because I know I had great support. Amazing freinds and a loving family.
Can’t beat me Crohns! 😛