I don’t know how I ever did it before. I really don’t know.. how. I’m sure that I didn’t ignore it on purpose, that I used to listen when it was necessary to, but it just feels so odd. That I can’t not switch off from listening to my body now. It constantly feels.. something. I never not know what…


Thursday. Friday. Two horrible horrible days of inconsistent stupid drug related problems. High temperature. CT scan. Ultrasound. Generally being poked about. Too many talks about drug treatments. Question after question. But most of all my IV steroids thought it would be an excellent idea to bottom out my mood, take away all my positivity and turn me into a broken…

The Plan

So, my last lot of drugs really didn’t work. The steroids I was taking with my Pentasa didn’t exactly have a good time together, the last couple days. In fact, everything went down hill in a matter of 36 hrs – just the time before my first out patient clinic appointment. One look at me, a description of my symptoms,…

Night Two

Night two back of Ward G18. I feel better in myself today – more appetite and general perkiness (but mostly due to the feeling of ‘a plan’ being formed, but more on that later) than anything else – got my canulla in, lots of bloods taken, drugs and observations too. The road to recovery is a long and winding one.…

Weight down to 8st 6. All Crohn’s symptoms back. Being readmitted to hospital tonight for treatment.

Today is a bad day. Spent most of last night between my bedroom and the bathroom. Woke up with no stomach pains but dry mouth and a headache. Now, the nausea is here, and my bloody tongue and taste buds are gone. Tomorrow I go to the hospital for my first clinic appointment. I am so damn tired already. I…

I am having to re train my brain and body to what is ‘normal’ and ‘acceptable’ bowel noises / movements and which ones are – quite frankly – not. The continuous, unrelenting pain; for one. Then the fact that pain almost always wakes me up in a cold sweat. And thirdly, being unable to safety ‘ignore’ it and switch my…


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