Nottingham: Moran and Multiple Choices – 27.01.16

I’ve never seen a different gastroenterologist in a different hospital before. I was full of anxiety and fear of being unable to explain my history to him or to even get him to help me. I was over thinking everything I wanted to say and everything I could possibly say; this one sided conversation with my thoughts and my fears. I’ve had a bad week leading up to my appointment, including traveling to the hospital which isn’t local and is in a new city I’m not used to. As much as I can prepare myself – and I realise that…

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The end of Biologics: Colorectal Referral – 12.01.16

I’ve had Crohn’s for almost four and a half years but this is the first time I’ve been anxious like this in a very long time. It’s certainly the first time I’ve come face to face with a surgeon. It was nerve wrecking. The judgment of my disease and the awkward chit chat my IBD nurse made whist he read my most recent scopes and scan results – MRI in November and scope in Sept 2013 (27 months ago) – felt like the longest ten minutes of my IBD life. Even more so than waiting to be called in for…

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Hello 2016..?

I started 2016 in pain, surprise surprise! I slept through all the new year celebrations, awaking groggily in the morning, trying to find some strength. Why would I need to find strength knowing it was a Bank Holiday weekend, I hear you ask? Well, I’d received a letter the day before; a consultation with a new doctor at my hospital, a surgeon I found out once I’d Googled him (something I don’t like doing but curiosity was killing me) and I was going into over drive as to why and boggled by the short notice. Was something wrong? Was I…

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I am scared.

“So I am scared of all of this. That I’m trying so hard to get some control of everything, I’m trying to not be angry but being angry is all I can feel. “

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Vedolizumab #1 & #2 – Do I dare hope..?

“The biggest thing today was how much care and attention I receive from my IBD team. And I really need to fight to keep that the same; given the NHS Trust’s changes.. “

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