48hrs

Thursday. Friday. Two horrible horrible days of inconsistent stupid drug related problems. High temperature. CT scan. Ultrasound. Generally being poked about. Too many talks about drug treatments. Question after question.

But most of all my IV steroids thought it would be an excellent idea to bottom out my mood, take away all my positivity and turn me into a broken distraught mess. Lovely.

The Plan

So, my last lot of drugs really didn’t work. The steroids I was taking with my Pentasa didn’t exactly have a good time together, the last couple days. In fact, everything went down hill in a matter of 36 hrs – just the time before my first out patient clinic appointment. One look at me, a description of my symptoms, my new weight loss and terrible lack of life in me; lead the consultant to re admit me almost immediately. Hours later, back in the same bed on the same ward as 10 days previously. Now, the plan is being […]

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Night Two

Night two back of Ward G18. I feel better in myself today – more appetite and general perkiness (but mostly due to the feeling of ‘a plan’ being formed, but more on that later) than anything else – got my canulla in, lots of bloods taken, drugs and observations too. The road to recovery is a long and winding one. A clique, but feels very truthful now that I’m back in a hospital bed for the third time in a month. Not much has changed here – in fact, I get recognised, would you believe it? – but something is […]

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Today is a bad day. Spent most of last night between my bedroom and the bathroom. Woke up with no stomach pains but dry mouth and a headache. Now, the nausea is here, and my bloody tongue and taste buds are gone. Tomorrow I go to the hospital for my first clinic appointment. I am so damn tired already. I just want this to be over. I want lots of days when I feel okay and normal and good. Its impossible though. My tablets take myself away from that. I know they help, I know they do, but I hate […]

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I am having to re train my brain and body to what is ‘normal’ and ‘acceptable’ bowel noises / movements and which ones are – quite frankly – not. The continuous, unrelenting pain; for one. Then the fact that pain almost always wakes me up in a cold sweat. And thirdly, being unable to safety ‘ignore’ it and switch my mind to something else. Learning this whilst alone, with company and at night are frustrating me and consuming all my energy.

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Cancer

My dad told me yesterday, that almost every time I phoned him whilst in hospital last month, he thought I was going to tell him they had found cancer in me. That was what was making me so ill, that is what they couldn’t find for a week, that was the thing that was going to keep me weak and fragile – so unlike I’d ever been – for much much longer. Thankfully, they didn’t find any and won’t find any. I am grateful for that, in its saving grace, but his words will stick with me for a while. […]

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Introduction

Crohn’s disease is an Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) and can be confused with Colitis. In my large bowel, there are cysts of inflammation which cause my bowel lining to become irritated by certain foods. Because it has been untreated for the whole month I’ve been sick, my inflammation is very high. I take a number of drugs to help ‘put out the fire’. Steroids to remove the pain, Pentasa to keep the inflammation to a minimum and calcium tablets to help keep my bones strong (in reaction to the steroids I have to take). Each morning I take 40mg of […]

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August 2011

For me, a petite brunette from the Midlands, 2011 hasn’t exactly been the year of greatness it began with. Many things have gone ‘wrong’, we lost some family members, met new ones, spend more time than sense in hospital wards, and it seemed by the summer, it was far from over. It was my turn to face the facts of my life. I came down with food poisoning in the middle of August, shortly after my brother’s 21st birthday. I spend a week off work, hardly eating and drinking. My parents flew away on holiday so only me and brother […]

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