I don’t know how I ever did it before. I really don’t know.. how. I’m sure that I didn’t ignore it on purpose, that I used to listen when it was necessary to, but it just feels so odd. That I can’t not switch off from listening to my body now. It constantly feels.. something. I never not know what is going on. It keeps me awake at night, constantly. What was that particular feeling? Do I need to get up? Will it fade? How long will the pain last for? Whilst I grit my teeth together, I wonder how…

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48hrs

Thursday. Friday. Two horrible horrible days of inconsistent stupid drug related problems. High temperature. CT scan. Ultrasound. Generally being poked about. Too many talks about drug treatments. Question after question. But most of all my IV steroids thought it would be an excellent idea to bottom out my mood, take away all my positivity and turn me into a broken distraught mess. Lovely.

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The Plan

So, my last lot of drugs really didn’t work. The steroids I was taking with my Pentasa didn’t exactly have a good time together, the last couple days. In fact, everything went down hill in a matter of 36 hrs – just the time before my first out patient clinic appointment. One look at me, a description of my symptoms, my new weight loss and terrible lack of life in me; lead the consultant to re admit me almost immediately. Hours later, back in the same bed on the same ward as 10 days previously. Now, the plan is being…

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Night Two

Night two back of Ward G18. I feel better in myself today – more appetite and general perkiness (but mostly due to the feeling of ‘a plan’ being formed, but more on that later) than anything else – got my canulla in, lots of bloods taken, drugs and observations too. The road to recovery is a long and winding one. A clique, but feels very truthful now that I’m back in a hospital bed for the third time in a month. Not much has changed here – in fact, I get recognised, would you believe it? – but something is…

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Weight down to 8st 6. All Crohn’s symptoms back. Being readmitted to hospital tonight for treatment.

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