Moving On.

Being told you have an incurable condition is pretty mind boggling at the best of times. There is so much that runs through you head: what if it never hits remission, what if the meds don’t work, what if I need endless surgeries, how much pain will I have to put up with, when will it stop? It takes an indefinite amount of time to get comfortable with this, with your new found skin. I didn’t handle it pretty well. I suffered through a range of emotions: starting with constant crying, to welling up every time I thought about my…

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By definition…

Crohn’s is a long term chronic illness. There is alot about it that takes a long time ot digest and accept. For being just about 6 months into all this shit (ha!), I think it is reasonable to say that I’ve pretty much accepted alot of what will happen to me. That my illness is serious, despite its ability to disappear and reappear without notice. That my medication is necessary to my survival. That my family will always try their best to understand, despite not being able to feel my pain completely. That I have limitations. That I have a…

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“Normal” Life..

In the days that followed my diagnosis, everyone from my parents, to doctors, to nurses; told me how I could live with Crohns, how many people lived a ‘normal’ life despite the condition. I gawfed. A lot. In fact, after a while, it wore thin quite quickly. I got angry and completely bent out of shape by its incessant chirpy sentiment. A NORMAL life?! How, how exactly was that going to work? I spent a lot of my time in hospital – the first two times – contemplating my fate and that indulgent statement. I worried I wouldn’t ever be…

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Another One Bites the Dust..

There is something to be said about protecting yourself, most importantly, your heart. With or without my medical history, this would be true. Spying on me, check up on me when you’re away and a lack of trust and understanding has irrevocably changed the dynamic of this relationship from a good one to an unhealthy one. It had to end. In all honesty, I knew it couldn’t work long term. Too much was said too quickly and far too much time spend at opposite ends of the country. The things keeping us together really were just myths. So here I…

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Helllllo! 🙂 On this day of love – and not because its just today, but because I do – I am in love.. with myself. Finally, after a couple days of good news and continuing to be pain free, I am fab. Things might not always be perfect, or even great, but as long as I know I can get through them – and not just because i did before, but because I actually can – everything is okay. I might wish I wasn’t as tired as I am, or the fact that I’m chowing down on lots of food,…

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