Day Eleven – My Anatomy

nhbpm-2012

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For today of all days for this to be true, it was quite ironic. I’ve been feeling unusually frustrated and confused by my Crohn’s these last couple weeks and my insides feel like the picture above looks. I’ve not quite descended into the hell that was last year, and I honesty don’t feel close to it, but I don’t feel the conquering Crohn’s feeling I once had. I know alot of it has to do with my mind set and how I see what is wrong with me, rather than letting Bernie take over my life and mind; but I am getting spooky twinges of bad juju. And I know medical decisions can’t be made on a ‘bad feeling’ or whatever, but all these small things that keep happening and that are growing in my daily life, are someone mounting up into something bigger and therefore harder to ignore.

So my anatomy:

I have Crohn’s Disease in the latter part of my colon, I nicknamed it Bernie earlier this year with some comedic value and finally to put a name to all the invisible pain it caused / causes me. They honesty feel a mess; inflamed and (once) uncontrollable, painful and broken, a right pain in the backside.. but they are mine. I know they better than anyone else does. I hope that counts the most, in anything I have to say or explain to any medical practitioner..

I KNOW MY OWN ANATOMY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I WILL DECIDE WHEN IT IS QUITTING TIME OR WHEN I FEEL LIKE SHIT. PLEASE LISTEN TO ME FIRST, THEN MY TEST RESULTS.

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