May 2017

May. Well, it’s only gone and flown by.

I moved for my job at the start on the month. That was a stressful and emotional upheaval of many things but considering how weepy I did get when I left for university and then when I moved to Canada, this was good. It felt good because I knew I was coming somewhere to put down roots. I was excited and anticipating great things to happen here.

It has been a good month of learning so many new things for job role, navigating a new city, exploring my own limits and strengths to the max as well as I trying to maintain a great relationship long distance and making new friends. I have to admit; as much as it’s been a challenge I’ve kept to my own end of the bargain: I’ve been strong and I’ve been resourceful. I’ve found myself occupied and free to do what I like without fear of people – those who live in the same house share as me, strangers, regular people I see on the route to and from work, new faces at work too – judging me. I’ve been myself. For the first time in a very long time. It’s been great.

Work has been challenging with my health. Whilst I’ve felt well in my IBD section, my ostomy has causes me some pain and that has floored me twice in the space of a week. Mostly down to dehydration – the hottest time of the year so far – and some partial blockages, but nothing that we couldn’t get fixed quickly. The pain from the second bout has only just left me, four days later but I am changing my lifestyle to allow for me some better choices, wiser timings and appreciation for my current circumstances. I was told that last weeks blockage pains could have been a ‘suspected’ flare up of my IBD, which was then quickly resolved as a dehydration issue. But that fear has put some force into me. I need to take better care of me. I need to rest more and not test my digestive system so much. I forget so easily that I have IBD still, my surgery has not been curative of my disease; it is just lying dormant for a while.

I’ve just come back to new home from my parents house; after seeing family and friends this long Bank Holiday weekend. It was nice to have a break and see everyone to catch up but now I am back, I realised I missed being here than I expected. And I missed spending time, just normal time, with my boyfriend. I can’t wait for him to be able to move here and relocate so we can finally live together. It’ll be worth it and it is keeping me going. But until then, I have to do my own thing. I have a lot of my own goals to get into motion by then.

So with that, June I am settling some small goals that move into my bigger ambitions and aspirations.

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