At the end of 2017, I was recovering from a low blow my health dealt me a couple of months previous and wrote this about my goals for 2018. And whilst I am still a goal orientated and goal driven person, I know that ‘goals’ don’t always fall nicely into a calendar year, nor do they always feel complete. With this in mind, I reflect on 2018 with some closure but also some wistfulness.
Could I have done more this year? Could I have been easier on myself? How does this help me going forward?
So as 2018 now draws to a close, I think about what I would like to achieve for 2019. Here they are:
But beyond my job and my health, I want to work on some things which are more personal. Things that are some what harder to quantify and to ‘tick off’ my to-do list. Things that keep me thinking ‘self improvement’ than just falling into a hole of static acceptance and complacency.
Learn more about my anxiety. I’ve been ‘diagnosed’ for almost a year and I still find it difficult to cope and explain. I would like to find more reasons why I initially feel like this and solve them.
Find a good work / life balance that is consistent. For me, this will be feeling less guilty about the other when doing the other one. I know this is an important aspect of my life with a chronic illness and I want to better manage this in 2019.
Accept the bad and rejoice in the good. Whilst bad things happen, they happen regardless. I want to appreciate them for being shitty but then find the good in them; they come for a reason, I just need to find said reason.
Practice what I preach. Despite telling people to rest and fight for things, I very often neglect my own advice to others. This needs to change.
Find some calm through my storms. Managing my stress is going to be important for being consistent with my IBD. It’s a big factor and a definite trigger for me. Some calm – Louise made at this point would be good enough – needs to happen for me to keep sane and on a good IBD equilibrium.
Find more passions and DO THEM. I think about doing a lot of things but rarely follow-up with them. This year I want to find more things that bring me joy and continue to do them, regardless!
2018 has not been easy and it has been rife with massive lows, more than highs. So, 2019 better be better! I intend to embrace it’s good and bad and relish the downtime when it comes and learn to relax and just ride it all out.