The BIG H – revisited, slightly

So yesterday was Humira Thursday. I had an appointment with my IBD nurse to get me fixed up with this injection, phew!

It was pretty uneventful. I had tears – as usual now with the Big H, the bastard – and she did my injection for me. Pushed down on the ‘trigger’ and gave me my Crohn’s medication. Thank goodness! I felt alot better afterwards. Feels weird to say it, but it does really help. I need to remember that feeling for the next 12 days until my next one.

I’m not sure if what I am going through is common but I feel very pathetic for feeling this way. I should be able to do this! I have done more than a dozen of these myself and there is nothing to feel scared of. This mental block I have.. it’s so very very frustrating. Goodness knows what I’d be like if I was diabetic, right?!

So, my next one is due on the 6th of June – needing a half day off work. And my mom is coming with me too to get trained up in doing it. This shall be fun! But I’m also scared. Why? I’m giving her the control to give me pain, basically. Yes, she is helping me, but it feel so stupid that at 24 I am unable to do it myself. I am able! I am fit! I am competent! Why can’t I?

This shall be the struggle..

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