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A couple weeks ago I had my final investigative scan, my rescheduled MRI scan, mentioned in this post.

I received a CC-ed letter from my consultant today stating that my scan “showed a considerable improvement on the changes previously noted on CT (of the small bowel). This is reassuring but also mirrors the general improvement in condition and blood tests.”

I am rather happy with this. Despite being preoccupied with the actual preparation for the scan and the scan itself, I started to wonder if they would find any more inflammation in my small bowel. In fact, I’ve spent a few nights worrying about it. I’m glad this is no longer a concern. I still have to have another clinical appointment with the gastroenterologist in 3 weeks time to discuss what the next step is – which I really am worried about.. what exactly is next for me? Just continue on Humira until it doesn’t work or I flare up again? That scares me more than anything else.

Because of good news, it does make me wonder how my Crohn’s is determined as ‘servere’. I know I shouldn’t complain – and I hope it doesn’t come across as me doing just that – but with my medication working so well, I feel sort of .. well, “Crohn free” if that is at all pheasible. I know I have something wrong with me – I saw my scan and scope results, and I remember all the pain I was in for weeks in hospital. I remember all the weight I lost on Aza and I remember the Green Weekend. But I haven’t felt unwell like that since leaving hospital back in November. It feels like a lifetime ago, like a dream.

So yes, I wonder what is next.

Where I go from here.. But I’ll drag that bitch that I call my bad guts along with me.