I find every platform to be good for certain things.
I like Twitter because I can interact with people from around the world with the same type of disease, with an ileostomy, with issues and find comfort in knowing I’m not alone. I also find it simpler to try and capture my current status in 140 characters. They can always be linked together and I can post multiple times a day, even every hour. I’ve been on there the longest.
Instagram is good for posting photos that do better justice than my words ever can. It’s a nice way to document my journey, especially in hospital and see progress. It’s a nice tool to measure my own success.
Facebook is the platform I use the least of. I find that people I know in real life are there and the fear of judgement is sky high. I have yet to really show anyone who isn’t my family my stoma. I am afraid of people thinking what everyone thinks about ostomies already – they are for old people, I can’t control my bowels, I’m house ridden, that must be disgusting – when I should really be showing it to prove I’m proud of it and it is none of those things. I should be raising awareness! Facebook makes me feel guilty for being hesitant. I’m unsure if that is just me or not..
Having my ileostomy has saved me from lots of pain but it has knocked my confidence. Not only in my body image but my own mental state too. I second guess myself and doubt things because I’m still getting use to it and figuring out how I will best manage it day to day. I had just gotten used to all my Crohns problems and now I have these new issues and challenges to deal with. It’s like being thrown another juggling ball into the mix, a new curve ball. It’s shaken me and I didn’t realise how much until I tried to do something ‘normal’ and couldn’t. It was emotionally heartbreaking, shattering my self confidence, in my own acceptance of my current circumstances.
I’m sure as my confidence returns, I will gather myself together and put more of myself out there, raising ostomy awareness. I hope so. Don’t know when, but I will. I’m sure of that.