In true Louise fashion, the dawn of the new year had brought up all the emotions regarding my review in three weeks with my gastroenterologist.
I spent last winter in and out of the hospital because without fail, my guts decide it wouldn’t be too horrible for me to go without some sort of hospital visit; be it a day in for a procedure or a check up, bloods or a short stay. This year, I’ve remained healthy, and for the most part that is due to my care into maintaining my remission. It is the combination of taking care of me and knowing how far I can go without problems. Testing the boundaries have served me well this holiday period. I’ve gone without problem. And I am proud of that.
But now comes the arduous task if suggesting a medication free lifestyle to my GI. For months I’ve been unhappy with the side effects I’ve been experiencing with the Humira injections. I’ve been topping up for Anti TNF treatment in my body every two weeks and there is a steady flow of it in my system. However, this has made my metabolism slow so much that I’ve gained a lot of weight. Not a solid reason to stop the treatment plan I’ve been on for tweleve months, for sure.
But, armed with a clean scope – no inflamation, no active disease and only small polyps – good blood work and no symptoms of my bowels acting up (par the few days when I get a little sick) I plan to stop all medications.
I’ve been pumped full of drugs since I first got sick with last years massive flare up. I was on high dose steorids for the majority of that time, had tests with sedatives, on antibiotics and anti virals until finally Humira was my next and only option. I’ve lost my memory – every day I have difficult with saying the actual words my brain know – and I am more determined this time to help myself without the need of a drug. I want myself back from the awful side effects of all these medications. I was healthy and most importantly medication free before my crohns diagnosis. I am not used to, and nor is my body, with all these man made substances in my system. I want off.
I’ve been in remission for just over six months now and I have been coping well. I know my body and my crohns and my responses to pain much better this time around. I would like some faith put in my own ability to take care of myself. I would like my entire independence back.