Inspired from aguywithcrohns recent post..
Being ‘decent’ and having Crohn’s Disease seems simple it theory. You just say “I was sick” and that could be the end of it, and for some people that is the depth of which they go into; with others and with themselves, about their condition.
However, for the majority of us, being silent on that issue just isn’t going to cut it. It certainly didn’t for me; this is how my Twitter account grew and grew and my blog took off. It’s actually how my life with Crohn’s Disease really started.
I was once a shy and completely in denial Crohnie. I spent pretty much all of my hospital admissions denying that was anything seriously wrong with me and it would all go away eventually. Humira changed my mind. My Green Weekend changed my mind. My most recent – November – Sigmoidoscopy showed me that that was not indeed the case, I was very sick and always would be different. I wouldn’t ever be ‘healthy’ and ‘normal’ again. It’s taken me along time to realise that that is okay. And my blog and my IBD family have helped me with that journey. So did counselling, but that’s another discussion for another day.
I ‘pour out my heart’ into my blog and into my honest conversations with people. I decided that being honest about my condition and Crohn’s Disease in general was the only way I could even begin to process this hand that has been dealt to me. I vented alot of my negative feelings about my Crohn’s and how much it affected and still affects my life – daily and in the larger scale also – on my blog and to friends and family. I go into detail; obviously with people who wish to know more, and there is a certain line in the sand that I just don’t cross with individuals in my life.
Am I decent when I take about my Crohn’s? Yes. And no. It gets all gory and intimate with my fellow Crohnies, my close family and my boyfriend. My Crohnies know what it is like to be like me and what it means to share things with other people who know about your plight and can feel your pain, quite literally some days. My family have been with me throughout it all so it is like ‘second nature’ to them in a way. And my boyfriend, well, he is special. He was keen to understand it and thus understand me.. and yes, we mean a great deal to each other, but I share everything I can with him.
Education. That’s what I aim to achieve here. Not either or not I am indecent on what I write or what I post with my words, thoughts, feelings. I won’t ever change my blog because someone has a problem with it. I want it to create a dialogue in which other people – Crohnies and non Crohnies alike – can discuss issues, or even just comment on similar, familiar feelings that I share.
It all comes down to choice.