Had my first ‘normal’ clinic appointment yesterday. And by normal I mean, not following any scans, tests or when I’ve been discharged from the Gastro ward. It was the simplest chat I’ve ever had with my GI, EVER.
Checked on my blood test – all fine. Iron is still out the normal boundaries, ‘I’m going to give you the tablets again okay?’ Sure, why not? I didn’t enjoy them the last time around, but let’s give it a whirl, eh?
Discussed my general health – slightly redundant, seen as my general health isn’t really what I would use to describe me, or my condition. But at present, everything is okay, so I let it slide. Asked me about my bones, and my bowels and my mind. All fine, just abit loopy, but that is me anyway.
Since my ‘chat’ ie crying in his office, with my doctor at our health practice, and being diagnosed with situational depression, its been on my mind (ha). I told my GI and he was not at all surprised that this was now an issue. Its like he expected it somehow. With all the tests he had sent me for over the last 2 months and during Christmas break, maybe he knew it was coming. But, 20 minutes with me every 6 – 8 weeks isn’t enough to give him a well rounded view on my mental health. I am concerned by this, but because I am ‘well’ and not complaining of any pain or discomfort, I decided I could keep my frustration to myself. Because in two months things may have changed. My down days on Humira may have increased and my depression have had been explored. Either way, time shall tell.
It felt like it should have been much more than it was. I feel sort of disappointed. But he did say I was doing exceptionally well. He hadn’t expected to see any symptoms or regression of my health, and with all things considered, our next appointment should be able to give me ‘remission’. Simply put, I will no longer be a clinical / medical concern for him. But, he doesn’t have to live with CD does he? He doesn’t know that this whole thing, these feelings I have about it / towards it, won’t ever change and vanish. Its not so cut and dry, not so black and white.
But I am bloody glad that I won’t be seeing the inside of that hospital again as a patient for a very long time..