“I try real hard but I can’t forget”

“I try real hard but I can’t forget”

And why would I want to?

Its taken a long time to get to this place; the one where I feel more and more comfortable with who I am and what I have. Every day there is a part of me that gets more used to the fact that who I was before is long gone, and she isn’t coming back. It has been tough to realise that no matter how hard I try, no matter how much better I get, things won’t be the same.

I admit that I’ve had rough days. Days where I just continue on and don’t think about the bigger issues in my life. Days where I just  would very much like to be alone but am surrounded by people. Because I have had times where the evidence of my Crohn’s is far far under my skin. It is unnoticeable. It is undetectable by just looking at me. I no longer look sick, I don’t have much to complain about with pain and problems, but I still don’t have a normal life. And that is difficult.


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