April 2012

I ended last months post looking scarily forward to April. It did not disappoint.

This month only had two days when I was ill – April 27 and 28. A mini flare up on my days off from work (bloody typical) lots of gut ache, no probable cause to it and it settled down in a 36 hr period. PHEW.

Started my counselling at the practice. Was, well is, challenging. Its very easy for me to talk but its not so easy for me to be brutely honest about everything. It is slightly frustrating, because it feels like a catch 22 some days. But I’m working on it. And carefully blogging abit about it too.

No trips to the hospital this month! Not even a blood test (that’s in a week’s time) before clinic) But sadly, my dad was rushed to the hospital two weeks ago for Gastro and Cardiac issues. Not lovely. It brought up alot of feelings I thought I had dealt with, and lots of problems. But he is fine now. I’m not looking forward to the next time when I am woken in the middle of the night by ambulance flashing blues.. but it might be me – that would be better than anyone else in this family.

My insomnia hit an emotional high at the beginning of the month. I went through a break up and it really didn’t help me sleep any more than the usual half night of Zzzzz. I was more tired and irritable than usual, because I didn’t understand the cause of it and it kept my awake for many nights. More than I care to admit too. It was horrible. But I got through it. I am now sleeping better – thanks to some breathing and sleeping techniques from counselling and the new boy.

Yeah, new relationship. Might sound crazy, so soon after the last one, but this one is different (cliched I know!). It is with the person who knows me the best here at home. It is easy, simple and honest. I don’t have to hide my Crohn’s, don’t have to hide my depression, don’t have to hide my intentions. I can be myself. I can finally be myself. Honestly. I love it. I hope it lasts.

Humira injections were April 12th and 26th; both were difficult. I panicked alot about them. Its the needle. But its still a catch 22, because I know of the benefits outweigh the cost of an little bit of pain. But I think the panic / pain is more prevalent now and it is on my mind alot. I don’t think anyone would ever ‘get used to’ injection themselves in the thigh, but it is really becoming a barrier that I don’t know how to overcome. I think its something to discuss at my clinic appointment. It just feels… bad, you know?

Medication – coming the end of my cycle of iron tablets – Ferrous Sulphate – and I am going to party once I’ve done my last daily triple. I hate them. I don’t think they have helped as much as my GI believes they will do. I really don’t want to take extra meds. I’ve been eating more iron enriched foods, so maybe the anemia will be lower than before, but who knows. I might just have to accept that I will always be a little pale and a little low on iron. Been taking my allergy tablets as well. ALREADY! My cold is still here with an vengeance and it is not letting up; if anything it is getting worse. It sucks. I’m not sure if its from the Humira or it is just a reaction to something at work or it is early onset of my allergies. But it does need sorting. I also need to sort some method of contraceptive too. JOYS.

Being at work has been fun this month – busy! But work hours have been cut, which has pissed me off no end. But its not just me, so I know I have people to bitch alongside with. Been incident free for this month, just a couple of bruises, nothing much to really be concerned with.

So, lots of things have happened. Lots of discussion needed in my next clinic appointment – May 15th. Lots to look forward to. LOTS TO FEAR.

23

It is the final part of my 23rd year. I would say, on reflection, it has been a weird year. I started it in good fashion – drunk and in Norwich, my favourite watering hole. I was still enjoying my full time job. Things were good at home. I was enjoying being single. I got half way through my year and things changed, drastically and dramatically. I spent alot of my time contending with new challenges: Hospitals. Tests. Scans. Blood. Injections. Heartache. Depression. Lost friendships. Red hot anger and rage. Tomorrow shall be the first birthday I celebrate as a Crohnie. […]

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March 2012

Prelude: I thought the best way to ‘track’ Crohns and related / subsequent issues, besides my medication diary, is to write a monthly post about how *this* month has been. Yes, I juggle alot of balls in the air. So, let’s begin.. I ended February with discovering I was in desperate need of counselling for my Crohns and related problems, be them medical, anxieties or just emotional and mental health. I actually ended up crying on the decorating floor at work, not understanding what was happening to me. I had to admit (with the help of many of my IBD […]

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6 Months..

Today is the 7th of March. A miserable day of rain and wind coupled with some unseasonal blazing sunshine. I am happy. Today I have reached a milestone. I have been living with Crohns Disease for 6 months. And, boy has it been a confusing, frustrating, wonderful time. I know that I will have this disease for the rest of my life, and I’ve sort of made my peace with that, for the most part. I know that at some point, things will get worse; so much worse and I will need surgery, but in these very present, very real […]

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Vitals

Photos of myself can only say so much.. so this is me, explaining, well, myself. At the beginning of all this, I was just a slightly chubby girl, happy with work, family and friends. Everything was good until I got food poisoning from a dodgy meal out with a friend last August. Everything changed after that. If I really think about it; and now that I know more about Crohns, my symptoms were apparent months before. Mouth ulcers. Mild diarrhea. Abdominal cramps. Joint pain. But nothing conclusive, nor extreme enough to make seek medical attention. So when I presented with […]

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It’s all in the details..

So, a little more personal information about me: I graduated from university almost 2 years ago now and haven’t found, what I call a ‘proper job’ yet. I am employed – I work as a shop assistant in a cafe and bakery in town – but finding that ‘degree relevant’ job that would blossom into a full blown career still eludes me. Now, not that I am ungrateful for all the help and support I’ve received from my employer and co-workers whilst going through my diagnosis and treatments of Crohn’s, I have always been looking for a graduate opportunity to grab […]

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And on the Eve of all Eves

.. I am sat in festive pjs, under my delightful duvet. Things are good. Actually, things are really good. Things are working and doing their jobs. And for the first time in months and months, I feel settled and myself once more. It is the most surreal feeling; of being so ill and then gradually getting well again. It feels like moments ago, but its been 3 months since my diagnosis and much has happened in those 90 days. Two more hospital spells, two more drug therapies and much of my body and hair lost. My last stay in hospital […]

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Introduction

Crohn’s disease is an Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) and can be confused with Colitis. In my large bowel, there are cysts of inflammation which cause my bowel lining to become irritated by certain foods. Because it has been untreated for the whole month I’ve been sick, my inflammation is very high. I take a number of drugs to help ‘put out the fire’. Steroids to remove the pain, Pentasa to keep the inflammation to a minimum and calcium tablets to help keep my bones strong (in reaction to the steroids I have to take). Each morning I take 40mg of […]

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August 2011

For me, a petite brunette from the Midlands, 2011 hasn’t exactly been the year of greatness it began with. Many things have gone ‘wrong’, we lost some family members, met new ones, spend more time than sense in hospital wards, and it seemed by the summer, it was far from over. It was my turn to face the facts of my life. I came down with food poisoning in the middle of August, shortly after my brother’s 21st birthday. I spend a week off work, hardly eating and drinking. My parents flew away on holiday so only me and brother […]

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