I ended last months post looking scarily forward to April. It did not disappoint.
This month only had two days when I was ill – April 27 and 28. A mini flare up on my days off from work (bloody typical) lots of gut ache, no probable cause to it and it settled down in a 36 hr period. PHEW.
Started my counselling at the practice. Was, well is, challenging. Its very easy for me to talk but its not so easy for me to be brutely honest about everything. It is slightly frustrating, because it feels like a catch 22 some days. But I’m working on it. And carefully blogging abit about it too.
No trips to the hospital this month! Not even a blood test (that’s in a week’s time) before clinic) But sadly, my dad was rushed to the hospital two weeks ago for Gastro and Cardiac issues. Not lovely. It brought up alot of feelings I thought I had dealt with, and lots of problems. But he is fine now. I’m not looking forward to the next time when I am woken in the middle of the night by ambulance flashing blues.. but it might be me – that would be better than anyone else in this family.
My insomnia hit an emotional high at the beginning of the month. I went through a break up and it really didn’t help me sleep any more than the usual half night of Zzzzz. I was more tired and irritable than usual, because I didn’t understand the cause of it and it kept my awake for many nights. More than I care to admit too. It was horrible. But I got through it. I am now sleeping better – thanks to some breathing and sleeping techniques from counselling and the new boy.
Yeah, new relationship. Might sound crazy, so soon after the last one, but this one is different (cliched I know!). It is with the person who knows me the best here at home. It is easy, simple and honest. I don’t have to hide my Crohn’s, don’t have to hide my depression, don’t have to hide my intentions. I can be myself. I can finally be myself. Honestly. I love it. I hope it lasts.
Humira injections were April 12th and 26th; both were difficult. I panicked alot about them. Its the needle. But its still a catch 22, because I know of the benefits outweigh the cost of an little bit of pain. But I think the panic / pain is more prevalent now and it is on my mind alot. I don’t think anyone would ever ‘get used to’ injection themselves in the thigh, but it is really becoming a barrier that I don’t know how to overcome. I think its something to discuss at my clinic appointment. It just feels… bad, you know?
Medication – coming the end of my cycle of iron tablets – Ferrous Sulphate – and I am going to party once I’ve done my last daily triple. I hate them. I don’t think they have helped as much as my GI believes they will do. I really don’t want to take extra meds. I’ve been eating more iron enriched foods, so maybe the anemia will be lower than before, but who knows. I might just have to accept that I will always be a little pale and a little low on iron. Been taking my allergy tablets as well. ALREADY! My cold is still here with an vengeance and it is not letting up; if anything it is getting worse. It sucks. I’m not sure if its from the Humira or it is just a reaction to something at work or it is early onset of my allergies. But it does need sorting. I also need to sort some method of contraceptive too. JOYS.
Being at work has been fun this month – busy! But work hours have been cut, which has pissed me off no end. But its not just me, so I know I have people to bitch alongside with. Been incident free for this month, just a couple of bruises, nothing much to really be concerned with.
So, lots of things have happened. Lots of discussion needed in my next clinic appointment – May 15th. Lots to look forward to. LOTS TO FEAR.