Mental Health

All posts under the umbrella of mental health

Just… *exhales and sighs*

I feel rotten today. I spent Tuesday afternoon onwards at my boyfriends house. I don’t spend alot of time there because of recent problems I’ve had with my Crohn’s, its easier to be at home. But we had a night and a day off together so decided to spend it together. And even though we have been together for almost…

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Misery DOES NOT enjoy company

I am feeling utterly miserable today. I don’t know what has gotten into me, but I don’t feel happy at all. Maybe it’s the 4am wake up call my subconscious gave me this morning, the belly pain that started up soon after my eyes adjusted to the sun coming up, or even the denial of why I was awake at…

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Professional ‘help’; here we go again

… I sat there, in the unused doctors room, filling in paperwork with a counsellor. I pause before all the sentences, wondering where my stupid emotions fall on the scale of 0 to 5. I think about how bad I feel about who I am, how I behave and wonder if I will ever stop thinking and feeling so utterly negatively about…

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Unhappy and Empty.

I’ve been without my blog for two months. And those two months have been possibly my worse for a long time. I came back from holiday and returned to work. My support group has gone officially live. I’ve taken two new Crohn’s medications, four rounds of antibiotics, packets of painkillers, becoming slightly dependent on Tramadol and felt so utterly depressed, alone…

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I’ve been feeling rubbish for weeks now but slowly getting through the days as they drag on, finish and move into the next one. I’ve been busy too, I’ve had hardly any time to really stop and take a long look at myself for as long as I can really remember. The beginning of a new school term started off…

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  If anything, I know this to be very true. My last storm was last November. I was severally dehydrated yet still flaring like there was no tomorrow. I was thin, pale, bearing able to walk, dress or wash myself. I was at rock bottom, despite being on Azathioprine to try and stop my Crohn’s symptoms. All the life was…

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“There are no accidents”

This seems very cut and dry doesn’t it? That the control you have over your life is everything in the world, no one else controls the destiny of your life but YOU. Many will look at that and think “why, yes, I agree” and most of the time I am with them, nodding in agreement. Until it comes to my…

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** I wrote this post almost two weeks ago, but was in a desperately dark place. Posting it didn’t, at that time, seem appropriate** I find my self being very angry tonight. Why? Because my boyfriend gave blood at a donation drive. I sat there and watch that guy sit through donation for a very selfless reason: Me. I can’t…

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